My 6 weeks in Granada, Spain have flown by faster than I could have ever imagined. And in that 6 weeks I think I have discovered things that I could have only learned in Spain. My experience here was one I will never forget for the memories, first time adventures, and family that Spain gave me. My study abroad experience has enriched my education to an extent that I will never be able to grasp, but I know that it was completely worth it and I encourage all students to take the opportunity to visit, travel, or live abroad!
Here are a few of my recommendations of DO's and DONT's to traveling abroad, especially here in Granada:
DO #1: Take advantage of living in a Spanish speaking country to speak Spanish with EVERYONE
From the moment I landed in Spain and my host mom picked me up until now, I have learned a great deal of Spanish purely from talking to my host family and the people of Granada that I come across everyday. Admittedly, it is difficult at times to understand what my host mom tells me, but they understand that I am learning, and I have found it to always be better just to ask when I am unsure! I appreciate their patience so much, especially when I talk super slowly or when I ask a million questions about what certain words mean. But this is just part of the whole immersion experience and messing up at first just helps the learning process. It is important to never get frustrated during your journey to understanding - just practice, practice, practice!
DO #2: Spend time with your host family
My 6 weeks in Granada would not have been the same without my host family, whom I can only describe with kind words. My host family consists of my host mom, Lola and her youngest daughter, María, who lives with her. Often, Lola's granddaughter (her eldest daughter's daughter), also named Lola, comes to visit, and all of us together truly feels like a family - my Spanish family away from home. With everything I do, my family here is so supportive of me. To my mom, I am her "niña Americana," and honestly, to me, she is my "mamá española" - I couldn't have asked for a better mom to take the role of my own mother while I am in a different country. Her love for me is always felt and her support for me is noticeable. However, I think the reason that I am so close to my host family is because I took the time to truly become a member of the family. At every meal (except breakfast) I am constantly conversing with my family about their days or about their lives in general. And in return, I tell my family about my life in America. Although we live very different lives, my host family and I have become part of the same family - a family that is rooted in the exchange of values, culture, and affection. At home, my family is a huge part of my life, and here in Spain, family is a huge value of Spanish culture. I am so grateful for my family experience in Spain because if it were not for my host family, I don't think I would have been able to be so comfortable in a foreign city for 6 weeks.
My host mom Lola, her granddaughter Lolita, and me at Lolita's end of the school year "fiesta." It is important to get involved in the family life of your host family so you can make your own stay more comfortable, but also build lasting relationships!
Do #3: Travel everywhere you can
Being in a European country, I have access to many other countries because they are so close by. However, while in Granada, I think I enjoyed just exploring different parts of Spain itself. My second weekend in Spain, I travelled to Nerja beach, and it was honestly one of the most relaxing days I have had here in Spain. The beach was beautiful, the views were amazing, and the weather was perfect. Not to mention that it was a Spanish beach and very different from the beaches in the United States! During the Corpus Cristi holiday in Granada, Izabella and I went to Barcelona for four days, and it was one of the best weekends of my life. Although I admit I was a bit nervous traveling through Europe just the two of us alone and also trying to make our way around the big city, I enjoyed our spontaneous adventures and the opportunity to try different foods. Barcelona has a culture that is distinct from that of Southern Spain and Granada, and it was a more meaningful experience to learn about it through my own discovery. Additionally, CEA has weekend excursions to cities in Southern Spain as well that I HIGHLY recommend. Visiting Sevilla, Córdoba, and the Alpujarras were experiences that I appreciated for the amount of culture I was exposed to through the local architecture, local people, and the tour guides that CEA had arranged for us. I feel like I know so much more about Spain just by traveling around during my free time; to me, travel can be one of the greatest forms of education and discovery.
Me in Nerja
Nerja with amigas
Barcelona and Parc Güell with Iza
Alpujarras hike with Sam
Alpujarras selfie with Nat
DONT #1: Don't be a "guiri"
"Guiri" is a term that Granadinos use to describe the "foreigner" who clearly looks like a tourist because of how they dress, how they act (aka do you own a selfie stick), or how they talk (loud and American?). So my big advice is to NOT ACT LIKE A GUIRI/TOURIST. Try to fit in with the locals! Try new things, be respectful, be aware! One major aspect that differentiates guiris from locals is the way they dress. In Spain, people always look put together - their hair is perfect, outfit is perfectly assembled, perfume/cologne smells fantastic, and they look confident. My first couple of weeks in Granada, I raided Zara not only for cute new clothes but also to see what the Spanish "style" really was like. I think it is important to be aware of your surroundings and let go of your native culture a bit just to completely absorb the new culture! No one in Spain wears athletic clothing, tennis shoes, leggings, etc. in public - that is a clear sign of a guiri. Instead, pull out your nicer clothes - not necessarily "formal" clothing, but wear dresses, cute heels or sandals, slacks and loafers, etc. Try out the local fashion for a bit!
#tbt in our finest at a flamenco show
DONT #2: Don't forget your academic obligations
This program is technically a 6 week INTENSIVE Spanish class. Intensive is used for a reason - this class has a high work load and is very demanding academic and learning wise. Often, it can be difficult to balance the work load while making friends/hanging out with friends and experiencing Spain at the same time. I highly recommend getting your homework done right away - don't delay anything! Procrastination especially here is a BAD idea. Everyone wants to hang out later at night, but if you haven't finished your homework - you wont be able to go and thus miss out on time with your friends. Trust me, this has happened to me many times. I have often procrastinated to the extent that I miss out on plans with friends and sleep at a late hour also. NOT FUN.
Find fun places to do homework! Like at a cute coffee shop
DONT #3: Don't forget to enjoy every single moment because it'll be over before you know it
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
6 weeks of living in Spain has gone by in the blink of an eye. I can't say that I regret anything, however, looking back, I wished that I had enjoyed every little thing that I experienced here in Spain. My first week here, I was aware of EVERYTHING because it was all so new to me. But when I established my routine, I wasn't as conscious of my surroundings. For this reason, I recommend that anyone who travels abroad remembers to enjoy everything about their trip. Whether it is the food your host mom cooks for lunch, or the taste of Cola Cao in cereal, the trip to Barcelona, or a walk in the Albaicín with friends, REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE. Being in Spain, I have definitely appreciated many aspects of my life that I did not notice or took for granted earlier. I love Spain. I love everything about it, and I think this is because I chose to truly live EVERYTHING Spain. I was always cognizant of my opportunities to be in a foreign country, living, studying, and experiencing - and this fact allowed me to be grateful for the experience of this 6 week program.
My favorite night in Granada - also the last Tapa Tuesday
Chocolate con Churros at Cafe Alhambra with Loly
Just some kids being weird, taking selfies
So, to all those future students looking to apply to study abroad programs, DON'T WAIT! Now is the best time to start the adventure of a lifetime!
I could tell you all of the details of my experience here and give you recommendations for my favorite tapa bars and late night schwarma, tell you how much every night you should study and how much time to spend with your host family- but I think this would only do you a disservice. For me, the most exciting and challenging parts of this experience were having to figure this stuff out on my own. In fact, I wish I had not asked friends of mine about their study abroad experiences because I arrived with too much expectations. My biggest advice is to try to get out of your head and process your experiences differently than you normally would in an environment you are familiar with, like in the US. For example, if you witness your host parents in a yelling argument, don't use your American brain to try to interpret this and fit it into a larger context. I found that at first I thought these arguments meant that they were disrespecting each other and actually upset, because thats what I'm used to it meaning in the US, when really it's just more common here for people to raise their voices with "passion" and not anger. It's hard not to use your past experiences to try to make sense of new ones here but it's necessary because this is a totally different country with a unique culture and history that we do not share in the US.
Another thing, don't let yourself compare or try to mold your experience into what you have heard about other people's study abroad experiences. What I have learned looking back on the past six weeks is that I feel very differently about my time here in Granada, my class, the people I have met, and Spain in general now than I did while it was all happening. It is impossible for you to know how this trip will inspire you, change you, and influence your world view until you have the whole picture to look at.
Lastly, remember you're not in Ann Arbor anymore!! The way and the amount you study doesn't have to be and probably shouldn't be the same here. It is summer and you're in Spain. Don't feel like you can't explore the city because you have to constantly be doing homework. There is time for both and that's why you are here instead of taking the same class in Ann Arbor. Also, only take a siesta if you really need one. Not only is this prime study time where you will have the whole afternoon to go on adventures, but I felt like napping messed up my sleep schedule, making it very difficult to go to bed at a reasonable hour at night.
We did it. Six weeks, waiting in anticipation for our sixth examen. Many mouthfuls of churros con chocolate, aceitunas ( olives), pan ( bread), jamon (ham), and many smells of spanish verano noches ( summer nights) later. Many footsteps in our worn down paths to school. Many footsteps to and from our favorite places and sights later, we finally tuned into the sound of the heartbeat of this city. What a beautiful thing it is and was to experience life and living in a different country, city, culture, and amongst different people. What a beautiful, comfortably uncomfortable, challenging, enriching dose of luck we were given. Going forward, I cannot wait to incorporate the language and different lifestyle that we have grown into and with these past seis semanas ( six weeks). Our language skills have improved incredibly, and I cannot wait to seek out avenues to use this skill in the future. Whether that be language exchanges at coffee shops in Ann Arbor, conversing with fellow students learning Spanish, or in new countries in the future or with my aspiration of working in a non-profit public health sector. I will take away the appreciation for taking time out of the day to decompress and rest. Although there may not be set in stone times for siestas in the U.S. (even the word siesta combats American culture so strongly) I am going to try to incorporate a time each day to rest and reflect. The sense of enjoyment, disfrutando is so much larger here, and is something that I want to take back with me wherever I may be. I never thought that I would be saying this, however, there are some many things that I cannot wait to return home to in regards to American culture. Stepping away from what you are so programmed into on the daily stream helps you appreciate things from a different viewpoint. My shoes will be kicked off, and I will return to my outdoor running and relaxed wardrobe with an appreciation.
In regards to things that I would suggest for students doing this program in the future... aquí son mis consejos ( here is my advice):
- Try all the food. Culture is very much embedded into food, and you can begin to discover things about what food means to personas españolas when you taste their daily foods. You may start to crave atun, jamon sandwiches, and patatas fritas as time passes...
Some of my first tapas at Cafe Bar Manlo
My favorite breakfast, aceite, sal, y tomate
-Adventure on your own starting the first week. One of my favorite past times here in Granada was getting out and exploring and often getting a little lost in the cobblestone streets. I was able to find some of my favorite places El Rio Genial,Carmen de los Martires ( a garden over looking the whole city).
Rio Genial
Parque de Las Ciencias
Vista de Carmen de los Martires
- Make a list each week of things you want to do. I found that when we made plans and bucket lists and we narrowed down to the last three weeks, we began to explore, enjoy, and discover more and more.
- Free is often best. Seek out free museums ( como Cuarto de Santo Domingo), parks ( Parque de las Ciencias y Parque Garcia Lorca), and local events.
- Pack less than you'd expect, but more formally than anticipated. My advice is to bring more formal shoes than expected, however, only pack two weeks worth of clothes, as your host mother will do laundry often once a week or more.
Ruins at Cuarto de Santo Domingo
- Do not come to España empty handed. Bring some euros with you to have that spending money those first few days, bring a gift for your family ( when you come and one for when you leave), have opinions about politics both in los EEUU and here.
A largo plazo ( in the big picture), this experiencia was moving, full of action and relaxation, and provided a window into the beautiful country that España is and all it has to offer. I would also advise going to Madrid if you have the chance, it has a more progressive outlook and is chalked full of history, art, great food, and very friendly people. Looking back here are some more of my favorite memories and places that I will miss until I return.
I honestly cannot believe
that this is it. Six weeks have just flown by so quickly, and even though I
have seen so many new sights and made many great memories, there is still so
much to do and see. So, what are some pieces of advice I can give to a future
student? I have picked up on some of these nuggets of wisdom as the weeks
passed by, and I hope that future students will benefit from them.
1. Do: Speak to
your host family as much as possible; do not worry about messing up or
embarrassing yourself
In my first
week here, I was super embarrassed to talk in Spanish to my host family, since
I felt that I was making a fool of myself with my limited vocabulary. I did
talk about very basic topics, but did not dare venture into topics that were
more in depth, since I knew I would be stumbling into words that were new to
me. However, as I lived with my family more and became more comfortable, I
began pushing myself to ask more questions, despite the fact that I did not
understand 100% of their responses. What mattered was that I was able to take
the fraction of what I understood, and figure out what the actual meaning was.
With this process, I was able to garner new vocabulary, improve on my listening
and oral skills, and learn more about my family. Sure I still messed up on my
speaking at times and butchered some verb tenses along the way, but my family
was kind enough to point out my mistakes and help me fix them.
2. Do: Bring
formal clothes and attempt to look more like a Spainard and less like a “guiri”
Before
coming to Spain, I knew that people dressed a bit nicer than in the United
States, but was not expecting everyone to look like they came straight off a
runway. Even little babies are rocking the latest fashion trends! Sneakers are
a no no, as well as athletic clothing. In the United States, my preferred
clothing included big t-shirts, athletic shorts, leggings, and flip flops.
However, my world was flipped upside down when I began digging out my skirts,
nice tank tops, and dresses that I barely touched when I was at the university.
I made sure to pack all my nice clothes, thinking that I would need to dress up
once in a while- but in reality, I wore my nice clothes every day, since that is
the style in Spain. I thought that it would be difficult to break away from my normal
routine, but surprisingly, it was not that hard. I learned that putting on a
dress is just as easy as wearing athletic shorts and a t-shirt. With the same
amount of effort and time though, I was able to look a lot more put together
and well dressed. With this new mindset,
I hope to continue staying stylish when I go back to the United States, since
after all, I found out that I have a lot of nice clothes in my closet that I
rarely use!
3. Do: Eat,
eat, eat… and eat more
Spain has
really made me realize my love for food. Before this trip, I was pretty picky
with the foods I liked and did not like, but coming here, I have been a lot
more open with my palate. I have tried a variety of dishes that I thought I
would not enjoy like stuffed eggplant, rabo de toro, a whole plate of
mushrooms, and blood sausage. What really heightened my experience was the food
that my host parents cooked. Every day, I looked forward to eating meals with
them, since the food was always amazing and usually it was something new. Some
of my favorites include zucchini soup, chorizo, seafood paella, and their fish
stuffed with ham. Outside of the meals from my host family, there are of course
tapas. I went out for tapas once or twice a week, and loved the variety of
tapas there were. Some restaurants give you a menu of tapas to choose from,
while others just give you whatever tapa they are serving that day. Tapa time
is a great way to just kick back and relax, get some good drinks with friends,
and eat a meal for a great price. I do not advise you to get tapas every day
and skip meals with your family, because like I previously said, your host
family will have some great food to cook for you that you will not want to miss
out on.
4.Don’t: Skip
out on “Optional” activities provided by CEA- they are fun!
During the
six weeks, there were a multitude of mandatory and optional activities provided
by CEA. The optional activities included a free flamenco dance lesson, a visit
to the caves of Granada, free chocolate con churros, and more. However, even
though these activities were unique and really interesting, there were a
majority of people that did not show up to them. Some people preferred to take
naps, and sleep through the optional activities, while others were just
disinterested in the activities altogether. For me, I attended every activity,
since I thought “why not?” I would probably have never learned a little bit of
flamenco, or known what the “Ciudad de los Ninos” was if I did not. I thought
these activities were enriching, and they were great ways to hang out with
other students in the program. Therefore, I hope that future students take
advantage of these great activities when they come to Spain, because they are
once-in-a-lifetime opportunities!
5.) Don’t: Stay quiet about problems you face with
your host family
Coming to
another country and living with a host family can be very intimidating. For me,
I was worried that they would not like me, and that there would be an
uncomfortable atmosphere due to the language barriers. Fortunately for me, my
family and I got along great- but of course there were a few “conflicts” that I
did face. My parents gave me little talks about the messiness of my room, the
best way to conserve water while I brushed my teeth, and how to not get the
bathroom floor wet while I showered. Of course I was embarrassed when they
called me out on issues that wanted me to stop doing, but these were very minor
conflicts (and plus they were right as well). However, I know that for some
people, there were larger conflicts between them and their host family that
created uncomfortable environments. With CEA, we have the option of changing
host families, or having an advisor talk to the family about the concerns of
the student. However, some students thought that it would be better to stick it
out, rather than voice the issues, no matter how small they were, to an
advisor. I think that interactions with your host family plays a fundamental
role in your study abroad experience, since you are living under the same roof
for six weeks, so I advise that if you do face issues between you and your
family, please tell them to an advisor since they are there to help.
6.) Don’t: Forget your academic obligations, and don’t
forget to have fun!
The workload
for this course is not a joke. Every week there are two journals, a blog entry,
a workbook manual, and a test to complete. Class is four hours long every
weekday, and you will be speaking a lot more Spanish afterwards with your host
family. Therefore, you must not get carried away with the idea that you should “go
wild” in a new country, since you do have obligations to put in the effort into
the course assignments. Do not postpone activities and studying until the very
last day or minute, rather spread out your workload over the week so that you
spend at least 2 hours on homework every night. However, do not dedicate your
entire time here to studying and work. After your homework is done, take time
to treat yourself, and make plans with your friends to try out a new tapa bar,
get ice cream, go shopping in the Albaicin, or more. Also, the nightlife in
Spain is fantastic. Everyone is out in the streets during the weekend, and I
advise that you hit up the bars, discotecas, or just interesting locations
during that time (like El Mirador de San Nicolas). It was during these times
that I had the most fun with friends, since everyone was so relaxed and ready
to have a good time.
I am so
grateful to have had the opportunity to study abroad in Granada, and can truly
say that this city and country is the perfect place for a student. I never once
felt unsafe in the city, the food is absolutely incredible, there are many
interesting places to visit and the way of life here is just so relaxed. It
will be so strange returning back to the United States, and surely I will be
nostalgic for Spain after the first week of being back. However, I know that I
have learned much after living in a foreign country for six weeks, and will
never forget this amazing trip.
I cannot believe it is our last few days in Granada. While I know I am going to miss the incredible city, friends I've made, and my host family, I am so incredibly excited to see everyone at home.
Hiking with friends in Granada
Seville, Spain
I knew this experience would be life changing. I knew enhance my ability to communicate in Spanish and that I would gain an appreciation for the Spanish culture here in Granada. However, what I did not realize was the profound appreciation I would gain for America. I have never been so proud to be from the United States and have never been so appreciative for everything the U.S. offers. I miss the diversity of food, religion, and thought that is everywhere in the United States. I miss my family and the feeling of being constantly surrounded by people who you know love you more than you love yourself. I miss the relaxation that comes with being able to communicate without thinking so incredibly hard. I miss healthy food; vegetables that are fresh and food that is not fried or drenched in oil.
My dad making dinner last summer
I can't wait for my dad's cookin
I have gained an appreciation for people I now see in the United States from another country, attempting to learn English. I have gained so much respect for these people and the difficulties they face daily trying to order a coffee or find a grocery store. After living here, I will make sure to go out of my way to help when I see someone in this situation, because I know how it feels to need something simple, like shampoo, but feel embarrassed about how you might sound or not be able to easily express yourself correctly to ask for help to find what you need. If I could give advice to next years students, I would say first and foremost, live in the moment. I feel as though a lot of my time here was spent studying. This summer I had to complete and submit my medical school application so the first few weeks of my trip I was extremely overwhelmed. I think it is important you come here only having to focus on your Spanish class so you are really able to experience everything Spain has to offer. I would also recommend that the students try everything. Life here is different, but I do feel as thought I tried everything at least once. Certain things I didn't like, other things I loved, but I am leaving here knowing I soaked up every experience to the max. I would also tell other students to not be afraid to ask to change something that is bothering them, either in their host families or elsewhere. Back at home, it is rare for me to complain. I never want to cause extra work or stress on other people so if I am not happy with something, I know (most of the time) it is temporary and so just "deal". Here, six weeks is a long time to have to endure something that makes you unhappy. I would recommend to next years students to talk to your host families and explain to them if you are uncomfortable with anything. However, there are some things I definitely would not do. Number one: Do not pack a lot! I actually shipped four large boxes home because I just could not fit everything in my suitcase and the post office here is not a fun place. I wish I had packed half of what I brought. Second, do not overestimate your proficiency in the Spanish language, study before you get here! I thought I knew so much more Spanish than I did. In Spanish 101 and 102, you are talking to students who are at your same level. Here, the people speak fast and with an accent, so I would definitely recommend for students to look over their Spanish 101 and 102 notes before arriving in Granada. Finally do not only hang out with and speak to your classmates. It was so much fun drinking with and getting to know the students and people from Granada. It is an awesome way to really understand the mode of life here and practice your Spanish! The friendships you will make with your classmates is inevitable, you see them everyday for most of the day. However, make an effort to meet and hang out with different people from all over the world. You are in a country that is so close to so many different and unique places. It is incredibly easy to meet interesting people from all over the world.
Carlos, my friend and cousin here in Granada
My time in Granada has been unforgettable. I will never forget all the incredible things I have learned, seen, and amazing the people I have met. While I will be sad to leave, I have never been so excited to return home and spend Fourth of July with the people I love in the United States.
Crazy. It is crazy that these six weeks have flown by. I remember the plane ride over here I was thinking six weeks is a long time to be away from home. But at the same time I knew that in the moment it might not feel like it , but those 6 weeks are going to fly. And now here I am, in the final week, wondering where did the time go.
I think at this point people have one of two realizations. One is that they realize how much they miss their own home and that they don't think there capable of being away from home any longer. They realize it’s a great experience but they can't see themselves doing this often during their life. Then there's the other realization. You still miss your family and friends but you don't have this feeling of you need to go back. You realize you can live a life away from you're home and you're content and happy. It's a nice feeling to go home, but yet you would be happy to stay. This is the realization I have ending this trip.
I love traveling. I love it. I don't like touristy traveling, I love exotic unknown territory type of traveling. In comparison to most people I have traveled a good deal. I have gone to both developed and developing countries. My love for seeing new things sparked my interest in the career I want to go into.I've done a decent amount of volunteer work in other countries, but never for that long (usually for about a week). Through my experiences and my interests I've always known j wanted to be a doctor, but through other experiences I realized I wanted to work in developing and underdeveloped countries. So my dream has always been to do something like or similar to doctors without borders. However you never really know if that's what you want to do until you do it. Like I said other programs I have done have been for only a week. But in reality if that's you're career you're going to have to be gone for a lot longer. Granada has been the longest time I've been away from home. I'm so grateful to have come here because it gave me the opportunity to realize I could be away from home for a long period of time without completely committing myself to something super important. I was able to discover part of my limits and know more about what I want to be able to accomplish in the future. I'm not only more sure I want to be apart of helping poorer areas medically now but I also have a passion to keep learning Spanish. Not only do I love the language but I feel that my future career would really benefit by knowing it because many of the counties speak it. I know now that I can leave home in the future, and be ok.
Now specifically in this program I learned a lot about Spanish and general life. One thing I can say is that I've met people here, that I'm happy to say, I can see years of friendship here. I could have not asked for a better group of people to go on this trip with. Each person on this trip was unique and brought something new to the group. I love everything about this group and our professor. I hope our memories here made a positive impact on everyone involved.
Another thing I loved about this program I not only learned Spanish, I feel like I learned so much about the world. I've learned so much about Spain and its history that I can't believe I've never heard. Not only that but in class we've even learned the struggles in South American countries and culture that I have never known.
To future students (From my experiences)-
DO's:
try everything. Even if you don't want to. Everything is a bit different here, and you never know if you're going to like it. You're only studying abroad in Spain once (for most people). Don't regret not trying something when you get back.
Pack light. I honestly over packed. Don't think you'll need a lot because your don't. If your forget something there are stores everywhere in Granda. It's better to pack light, but while packing pack more formally!
Teach your family how to cook something American. I baked cookies and made pancakes and it was one of the most fun things I've done here. I loved seeing how much they enjoyed them and gave them the recipe.
DON’T
Procrastinate you're homework. In my opinion this will make this experience less fun because at times you will be super stressed and not be able to do well if you get behind.
Wear flip flops. In my opinion I think wearing flip flops attracts s lot of attention that you are not from Spain. Flip flops is a a big no here in public and sweatpants as well.
Speak as much English. I think you gain a lot more from this experience when you spend more time with your Spanish family and try speaking more Spanish and try to completely immerse yourself in the culture.
All in all this was an unforgettable experience and I'm truly blessed to have had this opportunity.
Early during my time in Spain I had many moments of clarity. After about two weeks, I fell into a comfortable, easy pattern of life, which was a nice change from my continuously thoughtful mind. However, recently I've found a "second wave" of contemplation. I've never lived in a place outside the United States before, and here I am, six weeks later, living my last full week in Granada. It's difficult to put my thoughts into words, and I'm sure as this next week develops my mind will continue to be perplexed and my heart confused.
Today it's raining.
To most people rain doesn't mean much, and when/if rain is something to be thought about, it's negative.
I love when it rains.
Some love rain because they have some cliche idea that it's melodramatic, or they like to "dance in the rain," or enjoy the "fresh smell," or the "sound against their windowpanes." Although these things are nice (and incredibly cliche in my opinion), I have many memories when rain seemed to be a symbol of change in my life. If it weren't for my experiences, I'd probably detest rain (because nothing creeps me out than seeing a zillion worms in the streets).
In China, when I was thirteen, it rained in the harbor of Hong Kong. It was during my last few days in China, and I remember running through the rain back to our hotel. This was the first time I developed my desire to travel. I don't remember much from this trip besides what I have in pictures. I think I was still to young to fully appreciate the history and culture, however I think that being there was one of the major stepping-stones of developing who I am today.
Hong Kong before the rain
During my freshman year of high school, my father suffered from a brain aneurysm. I often try to think back to this time of my life, and everything from those few months is jumbled. I was so worried about fitting in, and being asked to homecoming, wearing the right clothes, making new friends - typical fourteen-year-old things. This caused my worries for my dad and family to also get mixed in with trivial preoccupations. I thought I was so mature then, but I realize I was actually still too young to fully comprehend. After I came home from the hospital one night with my grandmother, we talked for a long time, and I remember a lot of "what if" questions. When I couldn't sleep, because of the rain, I went and sat on the bathroom floor (the only room with a lock) wondering how my life might change.
When I was sixteen, I was convinced to attend a Catholic Church camp. As I've stated before I'm not a completely devout religious person, however many of my friends have incredible faith, and I'm always interested and inspired by their continuous efforts to worship God, and share His values. As reluctant as I was, I had (what I consider) my first true encounter with God. It poured this day. I was outside, and we were instructed to pray for about an hour. The idea of "talking to myself" for an hour was daunting. However, I found the time raced by. At the end of my prayers I asked God three questions. Later, at reconciliation, I was talking with a visiting priest and confessing my sins (which I hadn't done in years). As I stood up to walk out the door, he stopped me. He asked me to close the door. He then sat me down, took my hands, looked into my eyes with incredible intensity and answered all three of my questions in order, and he spoke almost verbatim responses. It was still raining so many hours later.
The last day at DYMO (Catholic Camp)
Just last year as I spent my first week in Guatemala, my final day it rained. This trip was one that I believe forced me to change and grow during my first year of college. I was climbing down the volcano. It had just erupted a few days before, and so we had to take a newer route. Our group was a bit separated but my friend, Adam, and I stayed together. We eventually found this random hut on the volcano, and as it poured we took a break in the shed. We laughed and talked for a second before the rest of the group caught up. Climbing the mountain was my last activity in Guatemala, and it was a bittersweet ending to that trip, but beginning to a new outlook on life for me.
Hiking in the rain
The steam on the mountain from the rain hitting the hot ground. In some areas the lava was still visible.
I could go on describing moments where rain has symbolized change - my first heartbreak, first car accident, when my family moved for the first time, so many "firsts" and "lasts"... I'm not intending to pour my deepest darkest secrets out online, I just want to share the significance that rain has for me, and why I was inspired to write today. There's also a saying that if it rains on your wedding day it's good luck. I hope this is true because I can bet money that it will rain on mine. In fact, I hope it does.
In class we've been studying vocabulary about issues pertaining to injustice and overall human rights. I finally feel as if I have the ability to converse with people about relevant topics, which I'm very appreciative of. When I started off speaking in Granada I think I sounded like an intelligent four year old (if I was lucky). I wouldn't say I'm fluent by any means, but I can speak without thinking most of the time. My grammar might not be always correct considering I just learned future tense a week ago, but I've tried to work around my gaps in knowledge.
Last week I had the privilege of watching a Spanish movie titled, "Tambien La Lluvia," which means "even/also the rain." The movie was about the struggle for indigenous people of Bolivia to obtain water, and related the problems of people today to the problems of people during the time of Columbus, and how today there still exists groups of people without rights. (The title of this movie was ironic to me considering how everything has come together nicely in this past week. As I said in an earlier post no creo en las coincidencias.)
Scene from the movie
Today my teacher played a song for us by Mercedes Sosa, a famous singer from Argentina. The song is titled, "Duerme Negrito." It's a lullaby from the Caribbean. As I listened, I thought about my time in Guatemala. I feel extremely privileged to have had the opportunity to see two different places in "el mundo hispano." I hadn't thought much about the differences between my two different experiences. Honestly, I've spent most of my time attempting to live in the moment, and although this is a great thing, I am slightly disappointed in my lack of thought about this topic.
When I left Guatemala for the second time this past year, I felt especially passionate about human rights, and specifically access to heath care. Actually, my trip solidified the fact that I no longer wanted to be a doctor, as ironic as that sounds. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, I just know that I have greater interests than science, and I want to spend my time living rather than studying. I know that this might seem an overgeneralization, and I have so much respect for students who desire to be any sort of medical professional. I had an epiphany that it was no longer for me. Now, I hope to use this passion for "derechos humanos" in the future... in whatever way I can.
As she played this song a few times in class, I kept remembering the faces of the children in Guatemala: children who hadn’t seen a toothbrush in their lives, and ultimately had no teeth, children who were suffering from various parasites, children with a serious lack of nutrition. There's a statistic that states that families in Guatemala live off of 1 dollar (approximately seven quetzals a day). Can you imagine living off a dollar a day?
When I was there the first year, we had a ceremony at the end of our week in the medical clinic. We were broadcasted on local television and met the mayor of the city we were in. Each of us was called up one by one to receive awards. Before the ceremony I had two little girls run up to me, and each one grabbed my hand. At the time I spoke zero Spanish, but somehow I felt so connected to them. They'd been around the clinic throughout the week so I had recognized their faces. It felt like I had made a difference. That's all I've ever wanted to do. It was the most gratifying feeling in the world. It's funny how small memories can start so much change. Feeling that unending love and connection that we, as humans, share with each other is electrifying and contagious.
I went home today and listened to Mercedes Sosa's other song, her most famous. It's called, "Gracias a la Vida." I've been playing it on repeat for hours now. I feel extremely grateful for my opportunity to live in this wonderful city in Spain. I've continuously tried to truly live while I'm here. However, after this past week of thought and reflection, I'm in awe as to how much opportunity I have had not only here, but in all of my life. Being away from my true life, and beginning on a clean slate has made me grow to love my past mistakes and my current flaws, as well as hope to become someone honorable.
I turn twenty in about two months. Twenty is such a scary age to me. However, this past weekend I felt twenty, if that makes any sense. I've been saying to my friends for months, "I'm scared to turn twenty. I thought I'd have my shit together by now." I don't have anything together to be honest, and I probably wont ever have anything all together by the standards I would like. Yet, I feel older somehow. I feel that I'm ready to be twenty (Yes, I know twenty is still young). It's another stepping-stone. I don't feel scared anymore, and for someone who has lived her life completely safe and afraid of fear itself, this is a great thing.
When I was in high school I had someone tell me once that I was only fun during the summer because I took life too seriously during the school year. In fact, thinking back I took everything too seriously that sometimes I forgot to just be. I lived for the purpose of making it through another day. I didn't try to enjoy my days really, which seems selfish to me now. I don't regret the way I lived my life because I'll admit these habits are what have led me here today, and to become a successful student at Umich. He probably does not remember that he told me this perception of me, but I've never forgotten it. Ever since, I've had this saying in my head "be alive as if it were always summer." Sometimes I forget or I choose to revert back to my old, stressful habits. I think I've found that side of myself again as I've been here. I found her in Guatemala too - the summer side. I think this version of me is who I am, and everything else is just blockades that get in the way.
Sagrada Familia
Clinic in Guatemala
I used to say I feel most myself in other countries. I don't know if that's true. It isn't about where I am. It's about what I'm choosing to do, or whom I'm choosing to be. I like to think that there are many different sides to me, and honestly it has been exhausting picking and choosing how to live my life based on what other people want from me. Figuring out what matters, or rather who matters, has been a continuous struggle in my life, but I think Spain has solidified my thoughts for me.
Today was the first day I’ve missed home a bit. I’ve loved my anonymous (more or less) life here. Yet after thinking so much about my past and my future, I miss being rooted down. I miss having a purpose greater than myself. It’s been delightful being increbiley selfish for a bit of time, but I feel a bit out of place. I keep thinking about how much I want to share these sites, thoughts, and new knowledge I’ve attained with my friends and family. I’m not lonely, but I miss being needed. Overall, I feel incredibly thankful. It’s the most overwhelming feeling I think I’ve felt in awhile. I wish I was able to describe my thoughts and feelings more eleoquently. I am still processing, and perhaps that’s why I feel so scatterbrained. It’s as though I’m charged with a new energy, a passionate energy for all that life has to offer. I’ve been so safe for most of my life, and I finally feel like I’m truly happy.Now I hope I can use this euphoria for something much, much greater than myself. If I could give any advice to future students I think overall, as a generalization "don't hold back." People say that "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." I've found this to be true. I think that there's something to be said about "leaving it all on the stage" as dancers say. You never want to look back and say I wish I did this or that. I think the key is to tackle fear first, and fully dive in second. Secondly, I'd say be adventurous. I love my alone time, truly. I think I can be both an introvert and an extrovert, and it all depends on what I'm feeling that day. It's okay to take a day now and then to study, but I've found that meeting new people or conversing in real life has improved my Spanish, and my confidence using Spanish, much more than studying my textbook continuously. Out of most people I know on this trip, I'd say I study the least. I'm getting a good grade (I think), and so I have no regrets about missing a point here, or a small thing there, because it was a sacrifice for experience. I've never turned down an opportunity here. Everything I've wanted to do, has been done, or will be done this week. In short, eat every croissant and every last croqueta on your plate. I think something else to keep in mind is to be accepting. In my class alone, I think we have quite a mix of personalities, yet I consider myself friends with each person in the class. Obviously you'll always have people you connect with better, but I've found that everyone has a story, and people don't just come into your life without reason. Each person is placed in your life specifically to teach you something or show you something in a new light, no matter how big or small. This is an idea I always think about especially with host family placements, etc. In smaller matters heres a list of things to do: 1. Go to tapas as often as possible 2. Accept the existence of siesta 3. Work ahead on your homework - you'll want to have fun later 4. Cook a meal for your family 5. Meet locals 6. Explore by yourself 7. Take time to think about your life in Spain 8. Take time to think about your life in the United States 9. Live in the moment 10. Most importantly, drink as much Sangria as possible (or Tinto because that's good too) Things not to do are a bit harder to come up with. I guess I'd have to say: 1. Don't be loud in public. Ever. (Unless on Pedro Antonio at 2am) 2. Don't wear sweats. Ever. (Unless going to the gym) 3. Don't ask for directions if you don't know how to ask questions in Spanish (Unless you know have proper grammar) 4. Don't mix up the words for genitals and drawer (I did this the first week, but didn't realize it till a week later when this topic was brought up in class. Oops.) 5. Don't wear heels if you're tall 6. Don't go to Zara unless you have an unlimited bank account 7. Don't leave anything plugged in during the day because it's a waste of energy 8. Don't eat anything with eyes 9. Don't listen to all of the stereotypes 10. Don't forget who you are and where you came from and what you would like to accomplish
Usually when I can’t process my own crazy mind, I turn to music. It has never let me down. I think this song by Mercedes Sona describes my emotion about Granada and my time here better than a thousand of my own words could:
